[Transit]

Image: Empty billboards represent Greece's crisis

 

Papan penanda jalan melompat ke jendela, mengganggu

lintasan cahaya.

 

Bahasa menyalak, bising

ke mata.

 

Belum lama aku di sini. Belum cukup lama untuk dibilang

terlalu

lama, selamanya

 

orang asing.

 

23 Juni 2016, ketika baru saja melewati Tahaki Reserve, Mt Eden

Keluarga-Keluargaku

00007-willowtree-grandfather-with-2-children

Waktu itu, Bandung pernah berbisik kepadaku: Hey, aku yang membesarkan kamu.

Kemudian, Erfurt dan saudarinya yang mungil elok dan pendiam, yang kucintai, yang aku tak tahu namanya, dan ayahnya, Frankfurt, dan ibunya, Kassel, melambai kepadaku: Terima kasih sudah mengizinkan kami memelukmu.

Lelaki itu, namanya Jakarta, tangannya meremas rambutku, menarik kulit kepalaku: Kamu itu kutu.

Aotearoa datang kepadaku seperti selimut di hari hujan. Istirahatlah, dan selamat mimpi indah.

Potret Jakarta #1

219830_unjuk-rasa-sopir-metro-mini_663_382

Aku hanya bisa mengumpat
Saat hidungku terlanjur mampat
oleh kepungan asap knalpot dan bau keringat
ah, Bang Mamat!

Pergi pagi tak sempat mandi
Pulang malam juga belum makan
Bukannya dikeloni malah dicibir bini
Karena kurang setor duit bulanan

Bang Mamat supir Metromini
Kretek murah terselip di gigi
Telah lama lekang mimpi
Jadi pegawai negeri bergaji tinggi

Aku hanya bisa nyengir
Saat tubuh terhempas ke pinggir
Penumpang lain pasrah pada melipir
Metromini belok mendadak nyaris tergelincir

–Bandung, 10 September 2014

Insoluble Yearn

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I’d like to sink myself in every rough detail of your face

I’d like to bathe myself in your sandpaper voice

I’d like to immerse myself in your scent and your breath

I’d like you to swallow me, swallow me whole, digest me, make me a part of you

I’d like to circulate inside your body and be within you

I’d like you to think that of me too.

The Still Stonehill and the Angry Sea

stonehill sea

Teach me how to be still, for you’re a stonehill;
and I want to be the calm earth beneath you,
not an angry sea

Show me how to be clear and blue, like the sky above you;
not a tempest that fulminates, destroying
everything and herself

The stonehill stands tall, unmoving
The sea waves on his feet, undulating
Angry, she is always, scraping with lesser hope each day
While he mounted uphigh, fixed on the land far away

Earth absorbs water, the hill mumbled, then what are you doing?
Crafting a hole into your core, the sea answered.

You’re wasting your time.
Yes, I am.

Then why bother?
Because I believe I can.

(And then the hill ignores the sea. There’s so much to think about already.)

Itu, Kekasihku

prayforpeacefuldreams

Kekasihku rambutnya hitam
Mengilat bagai cermin pekat
Katanya dia rajin keramas pakai minyak kemiri
Supaya indahnya bisa kunikmati lewat jemari

Kekasihku bibirnya merah
Merekah bak ranumnya buah
Setiap malam dia oleskan madu dan gincu
Agar ku leluasa mencumbunya semauku

Kekasihku wajahnya biru
Lebam di mata dan pipinya jadi ungu
Tempat tinjuku menghantam saat kupergokinya
Bergumul di ranjang dengan suami tetangga

Kekasihku kata-katanya palsu
Kuludahi dia saat para seragam itu datang menggiringku
Dengan pasung terpasang di pergelangan
Tak peduli air matanya terus berlinangan

– Bandung, 12 September 2014

Traumerei

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But life is never dull in your dreams.
“Mary Jo”, Belle and Sebastian

I dream in technicolor:

The field is always brighter than yellow and the sky is the bluest of the blue;
The meadow is a cheery viridian and glittering with beads of morning dew;

Through the grass and pasture the wind whispers softly;
In the middle where I stand, blending with tranquility.

Inhaling the crisp air, I admire the view;
A flawless landscape, almost lovelier than you,

My dress is fine, woven in black,
Dancing, billowing, swaying along with my track;

I don’t mind lingering there, for I anticipate,
Solely for a man who is worth the wait.

You make your way through, smiling like the sun,
Stare with your soothing eyes the color of a dun;

Your palm is warm, my feet are bare,
As I lead your hand to our secret lair;

To where we’ll be eternal, an unbreakable seam;
To when the two souls adjoint in one dream.

And then the morning comes, and I’m awaken with a start,
Eyes thick with sleep, still with rapidly beating heart.

When will I meet my fate, I never knew,
‘Cause no matter how vivid, the dream is untrue.

All I got is this lonely life,
Which I have to face alone in order to survive.

And how sad the fact is, God as my witness,
That dreams are the only place I can find
my true happiness.

I need a place where I can make my bed, a lover’s lap where I can lay my head.
‘Cause now the room is spinning
The day’s beginning.
“Atlantic”, Keane

– June 28 2008